saga: continued

So I go home each day on my dinner break so I can hang out at my apartment and take Gus out to go potty. My main reason is to take Gus out to go potty. I usually take this break somewhere between 8-11 pm, it just depends on how busy we are and when I can break away from the desk.

Tonight I get home.. open the door .. and ... COW PATTIES ALL OVER MY LIVING ROOM!!! You might ask yourself, "how could cows get into Michael's apartment?" "Not very easily" should be the appropriate response, but I have a 140 lb. great dane named Gus that kind of looks like a cow and apparently his explosive diahhrea resembles cow droppings. There were SIX cow patties in my living room. Big. Really. Big. Ranging from six inches across to about twelve inches across. I almost cried.

Oh, and did I mention that it STUNK? Yep. It did. Poor Gus looked like he thought I was going to beat him with a sledgehammer. Poor guy, it's not his fault at all, he's just not feeling well. I can't figure out what the hell caused this mess, I didn't leave *anything* food-related out where he could get it, and I don't notice anything else missing...so I'm positive it wasn't something he had eaten.

And one more gem of information. One of the small patties landed where? INSIDE one of my new running shoes. I feel disgusting. My apartment is disgusting.

This made my dinner break of a normal one hour turn into two and a half hours. I went back to work, got home, let Gus outside and he darted toward a grassy area and kept squatting and walking for about 10 minutes. Then he comes inside and starts throwing up on everything and then dry heaving. GOOD LORD WHEN WILL IT END?!

In the meantime, my ear hurts and and my jaw hurts and I'm tired and I just want to go to bed.

This could qualify as one of the worst days ever.