Friday, August 29, 2008

Too long for Twitter!

I haven't done much of this in the past months, but I have a story to get off my chest that it just too long for Twitter. Well, nothing is too long for Twitter really, but not in a reveal of the full context sort of way.

Twitter version: On phone with friend in MA, sees ex-bf vehicle when arriving home, hangs up to haul things inside. Doesn't call back. I call father, all ok.

That doesn't exactly do it.

Regular blogged version: I have an amazing friend in Massachusetts that I only talk with every 4-6 months. We're both very busy people and the intersections are very few. She called me last night just as I was getting ready to call it a night at work. So far so good. She was driving home from somewhere and we talked for about 10 minutes. When she got home she saw her ex-boyfriend's vehicle in her apartment complex parking lot. I could tell by her voice that this was very shocking/disturbing to her. A minute or so later she asks if she can call me back because she needs to haul things into her apartment. I say sure, she says great, she'll call me *right* back.

Right about then is when my two reference questions via IM are really going strong (FYI, the phone conversation didn't start until after the library closed, but since I didn't close the chat client immediately, I got a question 2 minutes after closing, arg!). One of the questions involves complex troubleshooting to figure out if our proxy server is to blame, or Serials Solutions. About 35 minutes later I'm finally done and can go home, then I check my phone and notice she hadn't called. Said friend always follows through when she says she'll do something.

So, I call her back thinking maybe she got caught up in something after getting home and forgot to call me back. So I call and her cell phone rings and rings with no answer. At that point I start to panic a bit, remembering her shock over seeing the vehicle of the ex-bf. Then I start to wonder--what if something is going on? This girl always attracts the biggest losers and has been very seriously stalked once before.

Okay, so now I'm starting to freak out a little and am trying to decide what to do. Since we only call or MySpace each other, I don't have a home address or even city name for her location. I was thinking of calling her local police and asking them to check on her. I did however have her parents' phone number. Oh, dilemma! I didn't want to worry anyone unduly, but couldn't think of anything else to do. Just in case something bad was happening, anything is fair game, right? So I called and got her dad on the phone (which is very good, since he's a very calm and level-headed man, her mother probably would've panicked beyond belief) and explain who I am and what happened. He gets my # and says he'll get right to it.

About 5 minutes later I get a phone call from my friend apologizing profusely. Apparently she had her cell phone on silent and was indeed caught up inside her apartment putting things away, using the bathroom, and kind of freaking out about seeing the ex-bf's vehicle. She actually did forget to call me back, which is unusual for her. Luckily, she has a landline, which her father called and was able to get through.

I felt like a bit of a chump, but really, I don't think I had any other options. I feel bad for giving her father's life a few minutes of extreme worry--but I hope he is glad that I was trying to help in what I thought might have been a bad situation.

Now that it's the next day, my actions DO seem a little extreme. However, what would YOU do if it were your very good female friend alone late at night in a parking lot and she does not call you back or answer her phone?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You did the right thing. No question. I know her father must feel the same way. He has too, everyone wants someone watching out for their loved ones. It's never a bother and a few minutes of worry just goes with the territory of loving others.

Unknown said...

I'm with Melody. I think that if good friends have "feelings" it's way better to act on them and feel silly then to not act on them and feel regret later. I did once call a friend's father. The friend had been seriously depressed and talking suicidal and when I called him the next day his phone was off and ringing all day long every time I called. It turned out that he just forgot to pay his bill or something. I felt bad for alerting his parents, but in the end his parents decided to help pay for counseling, which helped him.

Monique said...

I absolutely believe you did the right thing, Michael. It shows you for the very caring person you are. And as the mother of four adult "children" I would have been very grateful to you if that young woman had been my daughter. What you did was not extreme. You did exactly what you should have done. :-)

Michael said...

Well, thanks, ya'll for reinforcing my actions. :-) I appreciate it much!

After a few days to reflect, I do believe it was the right decision. Definitely a maturing experience!